LONG LEGGED BEASTIES!!!

On my hike down memory lane, I stumbled across this gem……….

LONG LEGGED BEASTIES!

Who knows that old prayer,” From ghoulies and ghosties, and long-legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night, Lord deliver us”?

Well my brother-in-law, Jordy, may well have sent up this prayer had he known it, on one occasion in his life.

As a youngster, Jordy lived near a cemetery and had to pass it on his way home. During the daytime, he didn’t mind riding his bike alongside the old, neglected graves lying behind a dilapidated fence.

In the sunlight, the old cracked tombstones seemed as simply forgotten reminders of forgotten people, but at night, it was different. Sounds creeped him out, and imagined voices whispered in his ears, that was when he developed a U shaped back with cold shivers running up and down his spine.
If’ U shaped back’ is an unfamiliar term, it’s when as a kid one had to get something from a dark room, then left it in a hurry, with ones back curving forward to escape the clutches of an unseen boogeyman.o

Jordy was not too happy when he was sent to the shop one day after sundown. He tried defying his mother and refusing, but she was bigger and stronger and held all the authority, so he reluctantly took the money and wheeled out his bike.

It was still light as he made his way to the
store, but on the way back, dusk and darkness approached. He put the loaf of sliced bread on the carrier on the back wheel of his bike and set off for home.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes in fervent prayer as he approached the cemetery. He switched on his bicycle lamp and’ put foot’ so to speak, cycling as hard and fast as his legs could go.

Out of the dark, he heard a strange sound, an eerie, high pitched squeak, or squeal. It seemed to be right behind him, following him. He glanced over his shoulder, and his blood froze.

A white shape emerged from the night, flapping and squealing and rattling its chains behind him. Jordy pedalled as fast as he could, his heart pounding, his mouth dry, and his prayers bordering on hysterical.

He heard the footsteps of the being behind him as they fell.’ Plop… plop… plop…’ then” plop, plop, plop’ as he sped up, but as hard as he tried to escape whatever was chasing him, the louder the squealing, and the faster the footsteps fell.

Then his wheel hit a huge stone, and his handlebars twisted violently. His bike bucked wildly, then upended and dumped him unceremoniously on the ground. Right in front of the apparition.

As he opened his mouth to scream in terror, the phantom raised its hand in a’ relax, mon’ attitude.

It was only then that Jordy realised that there stood his neighbour, Mr Malik, his Muslim neighbour dressed in his usual white robes.

” My word young man, you were undoubtedly in a hurry,” he said as he helped Jordy to his feet,” I was trying to catch up with you. This boneyard scares me, too many spooks.”

Relief washed through Jordy’s body, as he, somewhat sheepishly,
climbed to his feet, embarrassed by his silly imaginings. It transpired, the dire’ footsteps of dread’, that so terrified of him, were of no long-legged beastie, but actually, slices falling from the bread on his carrier.

The banshee squeal came from the ancient rusty old bike’s chain.

 

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