On my hike down memory lane, I stumbled across this gem……….
We have all heard of kidney stones and the pain they cause when being passed men, I believe, this is especially excruciating. The level of pain is equivalent to that of the pains of childbirth. It is one time when we women can sympathize with our men.
So we have all heard of kidney stones, but who has heard of tonsil stones? I have. They are not fun, either. What they are is a build-up of calcium in a single cell.
Now, as my very Afrikaans doctor explained,
A cell is ”Soe klein soes ’n muise tit.”
‘ As small as a mouse’s teat.’
That’s small. And mine was blocked. It was weird when the condition first presented in my mouth or throat, not sure where it was. Every time I smelled food or looked through my recipe books, one of my salivary ducts would swell up, so much, so it was visible to everyone around. I would look like a lopsided bullfrog. Once I began eating, it normalised to its real size, and all was well.
I could have lived with that, finding it quite amusing, but aside serve of this condition was terrible breath and pain. My doctor explained I would have to have an operation to remove the stone.
I duly booked into the local private hospital, the Cosmos, in Middelburg. I think it would be called a’ boutique hospital’, and was very expensive. It had every luxury a hospital could offer. One could even order wine to accompany one’s meal.
It was also the only hospital in town with a surgeon skilled enough for the very delicate operation I was about to undergo. I was booked in for surgery later the following day. No problem, surgeries have never scared me. I reckon if anything is going to go wrong, I would not know about it as I would be out cold from the anaesthetic. So, hey ho and away we go, bring on the knife.
The only thing was, I was kinda hungry, and I knew I must eat quickly or they would say those awful words,’ nil per mouth’.
Those are the most dreaded words of the English language. Well, in my opinion, they are. Maybe that was why I was the size of a small tank back then,
My son Brent brought me my favourite takeaway, Nandos Extra Hot Peri-Peri Chicken so I could munch down in time and not get too hungry before that sign went up. I reached for the food eagerly, and my gland swelled to double the size it had ever been.
As I bit into that yummy, tender flesh, with the hot, spicy sauce, I felt a sharp pain, then crunched down on something that wasn’t chicken.
I fished around my mouth with my tongue, and there it was; a tonsil stone. It was about the size of a grain of rice, white, and very rough to the touch.
I was ecstatic; I wasn’t going to need surgery after all. Nando’s had done the job for me. No knife would be required to remove the little stone, only the aroma of that hot, spicy chicken. I was allowed to book out immediately and go home, no charge.
I always felt I owed Nando’s one for that, so here’s a shoutout to them and their yummy yum yum chicken.